Lance and the Swing

Currently listening to "You're Right"- Paper Rival

So I watch Extreme Home Makeover just because I know it's going to make me cry. (Not ashamed) They take the most in need families and bless them with a dream home that caters to their needs. It gets me EVERY time I watch it, I mean EVERY SINGLE time. I can't help but cry. This particular episode, they helped a family of 2 deaf parents who had a 14 year old son and a blind son with sever autism. The 14 year old son catered to whatever his brother needed. He spoke sign language to his parents and the parents spoke sign language in the hand of their blind son. Their connection with each other was like nothing I've ever seen. Their house was a normal house like any middle classed family, but the thing was that the blind son would leave without the parents knowing and wander the streets. This created worry. Amidst all that though, there was this swing in the back yard. The blind son loved that swing. That was his escape from everything. He would swing for hours and hours. I think when he was on that swing; he wasn't blind anymore; he wasn't autistic anymore. He was just a joyful kid without a worry or care.

The reason why this particular story struck is because of this blind son. When presented the new house, and let me tell you they always do it right. They had new everything. From the front door to the grass in the yard. They had specific things to help with the fact the parents couldn't hear and things that helped the blind son. In the back yard the Extreme Home team created a new swing for the blind son, his name was Lance. On the swing read Lance's swing. Lance thought his room was cool, but once he got to that swing he lit up like nothing I've ever seen. While the rest of the family looked through the rest of the house, he stayed on that swing. He could care less about the new dishwasher, the new couch, the flat screen in the new living room.
He just wanted the swing because on that swing he found that nothing else mattered.

I want to be just like Lance. So many days I'm concerned about what I'm wearing, how I look, my entertainment, how I'm viewed by everyone else. Let me tell you, not alot of joy in that; alot of energy for sure, but no joy. God has a created a swing for me in him and asks me to escape to that swing everyday, but I'm usually saying "God, I don't have time for trivial things like a swing. I need to be more productive with my time." I have missed it. This swing represents the arms of Jesus. Sounds really "churchy" I know, but it hit me like a ton of bricks as I watched Lance on this swing. I want to find joy in knowing I'm loved for exactly the broken person that I am. That's what the swing represents for me. This represents my chance to be loved by the Father that just wants me to find joy in Him, my swing. Thanks Lance for rocking my soul and for swinging like there's no tomorrow.

Change Is Good, But Not Easy

Currently listening to "In This House"- Matt Morris


Well, I'm here. In Florida. Orlando, Florida. A part of me is asking "What in the world am I doing here?" But then a greater part of me is leaping for joy and ecstatic that I made the move. The weather is amazing, the scenery is beautiful, the city is busy and colorful. Nothing really bad about where I am, but it's different. It's change. Change just feels weird. It feels like that new sweater you just bought. It looks nice, but sometimes feels a little itchy because your skin isn't used to it.

I believe change is a good thing. Change brings about a new perspective for things. It's like a fresh start. It's great when it brings about positive things in you. Not all change does, but some does. But whether good or bad change, it's never easy. It's never easy to leave the comfort of everything you knew before, especially for someone who usually chooses the tempermant that I do. Comfort for me was what I operated out of everyday. The comfort of not taking a risk was really what it was. It was really hard for me to go. I'm such a people pleaser to the core and I was afraid I would shatter the dreams that other people had for me. I had reacted in that way for so long. Change was necessary.

Goals: To get a job, a car and check out some churches. There's a mega church here called Discovery Church. Gonna give it a whirl. It's huge though, so we'll see how that goes. Having good convos with my dad and brother. Not home sick yet, but I'm missing seeing a familiar face. The 7 journeys are still tugging at my soul and I'm excited about that. Can't believe that I'm here. This, for sure, was not an easy change, but so far so good. More to come.....

Home: There's No Place Like It

Currently listening to "Life in Technicolor"-Coldplay

So it's official... I'm moving to Florida! I can't really believe it, but I'm really doing it. To be honest, I never thought I would gain as much as I did living in Kansas City. I thought I would just live, work and die. That's not what happened at all. Let me shed some more light on what I mean.

Here in Kansas City I: graduated high school, became a manager at Blockbuster Video, moved out of my parents house at 18, got my first car, took on my first serving job, learned how to relate to high school kids through the ministry of Young Life, took 22 freshmen boys to camp in Colorado, took my little brother to camp and watched him cross the line of faith, did the Shoal Creek internship 3 summers in a row, got to sing in front of hundreds of people almost every week and hear how little ole me changed their lives through my voice, learned what true community really means, went to college twice HA, got my first apartment, got my first dog, learned that running is my thing, watched some of the guys I took to camp become Young Life leaders, learned how to lead, learned how to journal, let the 7 Journeys rock my soul, gained a super extended family, sang genres of music I never thought I would, owned my own car, flown more times than I can count on two hands, recorded Youtube videos that are being watched around the world, got recognized by a grammy award winning producer,did my first musical, the list could go on and on. These memories I will hold close to my heart. They have help shape me into who I am today. These are the positive things. Let's not fake the funk! There's negative things too.

Here in Kansas City I: got into debt, I sometimes ran away and isolated myself for my own comfort, I had many of conflict (sometimes physical) with my dad, learned how to become an awesome image manager, I quit school, I got my car repoed, I lost some friendships, I held alot of bitterness, did some things I'm not comfortable putting on here for everyone to see. These are memories that I will hold close to my heart. As ugly as they are, they have also helped in shaping who I am. These are the negative things.

I've heard that old saying "home is where the heart is" many times, but it never really had any weight to it in my life. I moved around alot as a kid, so home didn't really exist to me. Little did I know that my heart would find it's home in Kansas City. Thanks to everyone who has made an imprint on my life. You all believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. You challenged me, confronted me, loved me and honored me in ways I never thought possible. Thanks for making this home for me. I'm glad I can all Kansas City that for me. Home. There's no place like it.

A Masterpiece

Currently listening to "Ride"- Cary Brothers



A masterpiece to me is something made with great passion and vigor. It's exactly what it's supposed to be. It looks how the creator envisioned it. It's made to perfection. It's a work of art. The creator usually takes pride in it. The creator is proud of it and wants to show it off to the world. When asked about this masterpiece the person that created it probably smiles, beaming form ear to ear, knowing how great this masterpiece is. A masterpiece doesn't question itself; it doesn't know any differently. All it knows is that the person that created it is very well pleased in it. The masterpiece doesn't ask the question "Well why don't I look like this and why don't I look like that?" No, it's content in being what it is, namely because the creator views it that way.

I never feel like a masterpiece. I feel more like a raggedy Andy doll. Sometimes bringing joy to some, but easily worn out and tossed to the wayside. Sometimes lifeless, while wearing a plastered or sewn on smile. You can see the wear and tear on my garments and face from being tossed about in life. Not as appealing as a Batman action figure or a Spider-man one at that.

What does God see me as: A masterpiece or a raggedy Andy doll? Psalm 139 says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. The Message says I am marvelously made. Marvelously. That is saying that I'm something to marvel at. I'm something to see! The Creator of the Universe looks at me and is in awe! He sees that I view myself as a cheap old doll that doesn't have much use. If that's the case, what am I saying about God? I'm pretty much saying that He's an idiot and doesn't know what He's doing. This is far from the truth. If the God of ALL creation sees me and gets excited, then why don't I feel that about myself all of the time? Basically,what I'm doing is looking at Jesus square in the eyes as He hangs and bleeds on that cross, for ME mind you, and I say, "FORGET You and you're dieing on the cross! You're going to have to come better than that!" WOW! This is far from what I want to say to God. I desire for him to be pleased with me, to view me as a masterpiece.

I think the way I view myself is all about me. Self hearted. But if I really take a chance of allowing the way God views me to transform who I am and whose I am then it all changes. Soft Hearted. God wants me to view myself nothing more than what I am. A Masterpiece.

Everybody's A Grand Canyon

Currently listening to "Something's Missing (A Capella)"- Brandy


I remember doing the Shoal Creek Community Church internship the summer of 2004 and hearing Roy Moran say (paraphrased)," Everybody is a Grand Canyon. Your story is so deep and wide." Think about it. The Grand Canyon is HUGE! I've never been there, but I can imagine in my head: this huge stretch of land and rock with a very large, dense canal so deep that I can't see the bottom. Have you ever thought about you and other people being so deep you can't see the bottom?

Have you ever been to an airport and people watched? I enjoy it. I know it sounds creepy, but I can't lie. I do it everytime I'm in a place packed with peopole (i.e- malls, airports, churches, work out facilities, busy streets) For some odd reason this past year, I flew like 6 or 7 times. I spent alot of time in airports alone, people watching. Now there's an art to this, or else you just look like a weirdo staring at people. Where are they going? Where did they come from? What's their story? The mind is funny. At least mine is anyway. It makes silly assumptions by what your eyes take in and what your ears hear, which is never really accurate.

Do you remember ever seeing that Kleenex commercial with the guy who grabbed a couch and just planted it on the side walk in some city, I'm gonna say New York. He just sat there and waited for someone to sit down and talk. I'm sure he learned things about people that he would've never known just by looking at them. You never really heard any of the conversations, but you could tell by the laughter and tears that he was learning so much about these random people. I think all these people needed was an opportunity to share themselves with someone else.

What if we approached life in that way. It may not be ideal to grab a couch and plant it somewhere, but what if we assumed that the people around us had a story to tell. I know I always appear to be well put together, happy and on cloud 9, but that usually isn't the case. I struggle with things, I isolate myself sometimes, I'm not responsible all the time, I'm selfish. There's many things about me that people don't know about. But you can only assume what you see and sometimes hear about me.

I always think about the woman at the well (see John 4). This Samaritan woman thought she had a clue as to who she was talking to; some snobby Jewish man who wasn't supposed to be talking to her in the first place. All along it was Jesus who was offering her the best thing her life needed; living water and a chance to be in the best relationship she could ever have. (Side note: she had 5 ex-husbands and was living with a guy she wasn't married to......grand canyon!) Place yourself in Jesus' shoes at that moment. He asked this woman for water, a Samaritan woman. Jews and Samaritan's didn't have conversations let alone be in the same place together. Also, she was a woman. Men and women didn't just shoot the breeze like that. Women were considered nothing. Jesus, like he does best, broke the social norm and talked to her, took a chance and had a life changing encounter with this woman.

Now, I'm as guilty as the next person. I judge people. I assume things about people. My friend Derek Poe and I had such wrong assumptions about each other when we first met. Now we're good friends because we took a chance to ask the question, "What's your story?" So when you see that weird guy at work, ask yourself the question and then ask him. When you see that girl who always seems to be upset ask yourself the question and then ask her. You're gonna learn things you never knew. Everybody's a Grand Canyon. Everybody has a story. What's theirs? What's yours?

Just something that was on my heart today.

I Don't Deserve This...... I Can't Even Walk!

Currently listening to "By Your Side"- Tenth Avenue North

Royalty. What words come to mind when you think of royalty? Castles...crowns...Respect....admiration....power.....honor.....leadership. These are some of the words that come to mind when I think of royalty. Royalty seems so unreachable. It seems so far off. It seems so unlike me. But why? I feel like I don't deserve that kind of stature. I have no reason being in such high places. I'm not good enough for royalty. This list comes from a longer list of events in my life that has caused me to believe this about myself. True or False.

In 2 Samuel 9, Mephibosheth probably felt the same way. (Side note: I wonder what kind of nicknames he had growing up? Meff, Me Me, Meffy, Meff Meff. Just curious) David was royalty. David stood in high places and did grand things. David had castles, crowns, respect, admiration and everything on that list. Mephibosheth was just an ordinary guy that was heir to a great friend of David's. David wanted to honor Jonathan by showing kindness to someone left in his family. He found Mephibosheth. A random nobody. "Who am I that you would pay attention to a stray dog like me?" He knew how much of a nobody he was. Humility? Probably. I really think he was just being himself. A random nobody. He was given all of his grandfather's property and asked to sit at the kings table at every meal. Dude was lame on both feet at that. I'm sure he was thinking "I don't deserve this. I can't even walk!" It didn't matter though. He didn't earn any of this stuff, like David did. David made Meffy an heir because of who he knew, his father Jonathan and his grandfather Saul; and heir to the throne before David and a very close friend to David. What a feeling! To know you're invited into royalty and you did NOTHING to deserve it.

I feel like that's what God offers me. US! That's what grace is. That's what becoming and earner to heir is all about. I know I think just like Mephibosheth, "I don't deserve this, I can't even walk!" In so many ways my walk with Jesus becomes so distorted with circumstances, decisions I make to avoid going straight to the heart issue, just plain Life. Makes me feel lame in both feet. This leaves me feeling undeserving. Like a nobody. Once Jesus died on the cross, my so called "truth" was shattered. I'm an heir and I didn't even have to do anything to deserve it. It's all because of who I know. The relationship I have with Jesus allows me to be a part of his kingdom and the things that co-exist within that. Castles. Crowns. Respect. Admiration. Love. Hope. Grace! What a feeling! To know that I'm invited into royalty and did NOTHING to deserve it. I'll take it! Thanks Meffy! (Apparently I like that one the best)